My Story

I was born and raised on the Gulf Coast of Texas in a conservative Christian home. I was your typical overachieving AuDHD “girl” (though the Autism diagnosis came much later, and the “girl” was never really fitting) I was your stereotypical “tomboy”. I participated in “boys activities” like fishing, hunting, and football. I hated that I was born a girl because I felt it would always limit me and I never felt quite like the label fit me. I got good grades, played sports, and did community service.  I have always enjoyed helping people and began volunteering at nursing homes and cancer centers from age 14. I loved when I could walk into a room and bring comfort to someone in pain by my presence or the little things that I could easily do for them. This led me to EMT work. I loved helping people in their times of need, and the rush of adventure is just what my 18 year old self needed at the time.

 

 At 20, I began questioning the Christian ideals I had grown up with. In search of new meaning, I moved to NYC and soon found myself on the path to Orthodox Judaism, and married a man who was born into the Hasidic Breslov sect of the religion. After 13 horrendous miscarriages, tens of doctors and tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt, I had my first child. I received care from an Orthodox Doula  with that birth, and I regretted it. I felt unable to be myself. I had to wear the mask of religion even during labor, one of the rawest, most vulnerable of times. Not long after that child 2, 3 and 4 arrived. I never wanted 4 children under the age of 4, but numbers 3 and 4 were conceived despite the use of multiple forms of birth control, and abortion was not permitted religiously, though I sought religious allowance from the biggest rabbis around. With children 3 and 4 I had the support of an amazing woman who truly supported me fully and allowed me to be myself with no judgment. She went above and beyond her role as a doula and became a close friend. 

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Right after child number 4 was born I took control of my fertility in the only way left available to me. I had my tubes removed. I struggled with 4 kids under 4. I was also struggling with my belief in the religion I once held dear. I saw the way I, and my children, were treated. I cried at opportunities missed because of our genders (all AFAB). I started questioning the fundamental religion I had joined and dedicated my life to.  As I allowed myself to question religion I began to also explore who I was deep down.

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I looked back on my childhood, hating my gender, liking both girls and boys, never fitting into my Bible Belt community no matter how hard I tried. And oh boy did I try. I also never quite fit into my Orthodox community, though I wore that mask very well. It was always a mask. Soon after my 4th child was born,  I began the long journey of leaving the Orthodox religion, first privately, then publicly. My husband and kids followed a short while later, after their own religious epiphanies. I then came out as Queer; I was finally becoming the person that I knew I was intended to be deep down inside. 

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After this I began looking at every aspect of my life. Who was I? At the time I was homeschooling all 4 of my amazing kiddos, working part time babysitting, and keeping a busy household together.  But I felt stuck, like I was living for someone else and not myself. I tried volunteering with different community groups with what little free time I had, remembering how much joy I receive from helping people. I loved assisting people in need, but I still felt like it was not quite “me”.

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Thinking back to the rules in my former religion that denied me the health care I desperately needed at that time, I began helping pregnant people exercise their right to choose elective terminations. I also began to actively unlearn the racial and political, and social leanings of my youth.  I developed a passion for reproductive justice.

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During this time my spouse and I opened our marriage and became Polyamourous. In the Polyam community I met even more amazing, progressive queers. I had finally found my people. I could be me. The mask could finally come off.

I met people who embraced their “weirdness”, who rejoiced in their neurodiversity, who saw their differences as a mark of pride, rather than something to hide. I had found my misfits. I was finally home. 

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As my children all transitioned from homeschooling to public school, I found myself looking for work. A typical 9-5 quickly turned monotonous. I needed something more. I needed to feel “useful” . I needed to help people tangibly again. I thought back on my life and remembered how much I needed someone while pregnant, especially in my last two pregnancies where I had hoped for an abortion but could not have one.

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I found BADT, a Full Spectrum doula training organization that had a specific abortion care program and signed up for their Full Spectrum training, expecting that I would work primarily with people seeking terminations. 

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Their course was life changing for me. Until that course, I THOUGHT I had done the work. I thought I was “one of the good ones”. I thought I had worked through all my internal, and systemic racism, bias and other “phobias”. Heck, I myself was a member of the LGBTQIA! I was so wrong. The internal work I was able to do through this course to not just be an ally to those in need but an accomplice in the fight for reproductive justice, was life changing. I decided I no longer wanted to work just with people looking to end their pregnancies but in ALL areas of reproductive justice. I wanted to support people  gaining access to birth control, (and the ability to NOT take birth control if desired). I wanted to be a resource in accessing food, support, healthcare, and other needs.  I wanted to help people advocate for themselves with their medical team in pregnancy, delivery, postpartum, as well as support them if they choose an elective termination. I wanted to help build a village for postpartum parents. I wanted to be a Full Spectrum Doula.

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So here I am! 

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I cannot wait to serve you!

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​When I am not helping amazing humans with their reproductive journeys, you can find me advocating for queer and trans youth, fostering kittens (especially “spicy” kittens who need extra love and attention), cold water dipping (jumping in the Atlantic Ocean multiple times a week all winter long!), hiking, and spending time with loved ones and friends.